Thursday, November 24, 2011

Choices....

Today I had a really good session with my psychologist, she said it was ok to feel frustrated and angry.... My life has changed that is reality and we can not do anything about that, all I can do is try and live the best life I can within my boundaries. I may never be able to do a full gym program again, or do another half marathon or work full time, but I do have some wonderful positives in my life, like David, my children, I am in a wonderful CRPS support group, though I have only spoken online to them, I will be meeting some of them in person soon. I have a wonderful professional team behind me, Jane - my hand therapist, Averil - my psychologist, Stephan - my pain doctor.

What I am going through is normal, my life has been turned around and it will never be the same again, I will be on medication for the rest of my life, but that does not mean it has to be a bad life, I just somehow need to find a fulfilling life in another way to what it was before.

So for now I just have to try and not stress to much about the future, am hoping for a case conference ASAP so we can start moving forward.... Things are not going to change overnight for me, I am thinking of some volunteer work but what I am not sure.... I was thinking of some hobby but again what have no idea, as my fine motor skills in my hands especially in my left hand are basically zilch.

I do have some choices in my life I just need to find them... The CRPS is spreading, what started in my left ankle 3 years ago is now in my left wrist and since then as travelled to right ankle and wrist as well as my back. It is just a shame that we never got the diagnosis 3 years ago, after the left ankle spiral fracture, cause I could have been in a totally different position now, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Anyway for now I can live hour by hour..... I am not going to die from this disease, though suicide is quite high with CRPS....

Yay 3 books I had ordered had arrived, one is "Manage Your Pain" which I have read but wanted to purchase to have for future reference, the other is "Accidentally Overweight" recommended by my pain doctor, and another one is "The New Evolution Diet". Think I will start on the Accidentally Overweight one.

1 comment:

  1. Just happened to stumble upon your blog, can not begin to imagine how tough life must be for you, Carol

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