Monday, February 11, 2013

The years are going by just to fast....

Next week I am turning 49, that means one year till I am 50, I have never worried about birthdays in the past but for some reason turning 50 is scaring me....
I am not sure what is up with me, I am unsettled, I am lonely, I am unhappy I am worried about both our puppies, another $70 today for biscuit for her abscess/tumour, am still really hoping it is an abscess... Not sure of spelling and can't be bothered double checking, I am sure you know what I am meaning.... And Chico is giving us concern with small things that may be her lungs, we need to get a ultrasound done, no urgency at this stage, and to be honest I am worried it might be serious, so as long as I don't do it, then I can ignore it till she has a fit....
I need to get out of this slump, I am so looking forward to Thursday afternoon when my exam is done and I will get a few days off before the next semester which I will start the following Wednesday I will need those few days to get ahead a fraction this semester is going to be so full on I am terrified.
Our trip to Aussie is in 5 months and I am scared of going, I am scared we will be wasting all this money and not do much, or I am scared that it will knock me for 6 and it is smack bang in the middle of my placement, yeah bad bloody timing, I wish we had discussed the dates more before David purchased the tickets... Anyway to late now.
I am hoping to get my hair done next week Tuesday or Wednesday and my eyebrows which look absolutely disgusting but want to match it in with my hair.... Well at least if nothing else, I will look good for the start of the semester.
One thing I am going to count on is that my 49th year, will be a year that I am going to make count, how my body will handle it I am not sure, but I need to change tracks from where I am now, else I am going to go insane, I am going to put myself number 1 for one year, my kids are settled, David is in his routine, I need to have a life and have something to look forward to, and I am not meaning the study, I need something that will make me happy and put me at peace.....
I am in the process of setting up some goals, but they will be talked about next week, when I have some more time... The top of my list is getting healthy and yes that means lose some bloody kilos, and get some fitness in. Food wise I am going to go back to low carb, it was successful when I did it last year and now I have my BM's under control and no longer constipated thanks to more bloody tablets (like you really needed to know that), I am going to eat fruit though and I am going to have potatoes now and then... I am going to get some ice block things and make my own ice blocks, I am sure there are a thousand recipes I can find on the net, just need to do it. I am sure Briscoe's must be having a sale so hopefully I can get the ice block thingies there.
No photos today, am to tired and just to sore sorry, and I am really hoping this makes sense as I am slightly out if it :), oh I did do yesterday's photo it is on my instagram name is jaxxbirch, so check me out there :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. Sorry about the dogs, I do hope there is nothing seriously wrong with them.

    About the trip, time to stop setting goals but getting on with them. You will run out of time! I hope you feel better tomorrow.

  2. Sometimes the lemons life throws at us are just plain rotten.

    Hope you get a good might's sleep and feel better tomorrow.

    My 70th year was my bad one but then I wasn't contending with chronic disease.

    There's a quote that goes something like live everyday as though it's your last and live as thought today is the beginning of your future.
    I know I've mangled it but you get the idea.

    Anyway I wonder if proplr who say this sort of thing have ever been given rotten lemons to live with day after day.

    All the best with your plans.


  3. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

    Rest and then set yourself goals if that is what works best for you. You deserve to feel the peace you want.